Sunday, January 09, 2005


love me. heard that? who is willing to love me? you? NO WAY! not you either. just YOU! my perfect boyfriend. =). for everything you've done, i love you. for those times you didn't appear, i miss you. but for neglecting me, i loathe you! please love me and show me more care. for i'm looking for TLC. promise me you'll stay till eternity. =).


ilu

Saturday, December 18, 2004


it's christmas in one week's time. it's gonna be a jolly season. =). hope i'll have a memorable christmas this year. dunno how i'll be celebrating it but still i wanna hope that it's gonna be 100% fun. =DDD! anyway, my xmas wish this year is very simple. i ask for world peace and everyone in my family to be in the pink of health. hmmm. it's sunday tmr so yah. i wonder how i'll be. haha. anyway, guess i'll grow fat! ate 3 bars of chocolates today. muahahaha. mind you, it's non-stop. lolx. hopefully i'll put on a kg or two. not more than that! mustn't exceed 42kg. haha. i'm admiring my pony now. lolx. gonna continue with my puzzle. must not give up. haha. lia predicts that i'll be sian half way and stop doing. muahaha. i'll try.
~nda. xmas is one week away. santa is on his way.


ilu

very tired. can't describe it. yawns. anyway, i bought my little pony!!! =)))! i'm now the owner of rainbowberry. yay~ the pony has beautiful coloured hair unlike mine. =(. i'm not gonna dye my hair already. mom is right. come to think of it, it's been a week since i last saw myself in purple hair. haha. i'm lame. anyway, my rainbowberry has long and rainbowish hair. pretty pretty. =D! anyway, i started on my puzzle. princess~ mom gauge that i need 1 week to complete it. but i doubt so. i think in a few days i'll be sian of it. =xXx. haha. but since this is such a lovely princess puzzle, i'll try my best not to be sian of it. =). guess i'm gonna lock my room till my puzzle is done. if not there'll be missing pieces. anyway, it's gonna be sunday so i need not worry so much. haha. whatever. it's a season to be jolly!
~nda. my pretty pony and puzzle.


ilu

Friday, December 17, 2004


i'm up. still farking tired. reached home at around 3 last night. was farking scared. hais. my heart beat damn fast. i was in a loss. dad kept calling and instructing me what to do. mom was busy too. in fact, all of us were very busy. hais. in the end we reached there at 0030. in my heart i can feel the pain. i wanted to cry. i almost broke down. hais. but i told myself i gotta be strong no matter what. i'm not gonna cry in front of grandma. she'll sure say nth is happening but we are all worried. we didn't want anything to happen. i especially didn't wanna witness another stroke case. i didn't know what to do. it was like i was in a rush when i helped with the admission thingy coz mom was parking her car. those nurses seemed like farkers. did things so slowly. will they know how we were feeling anot? NO! coz she is our grandma NOT THEIRS! hais. we didn't allow grandma to stop talking we made sure she still answers us. we were all praying deep down that she'll be fine. in the end, she felt better. we left. managed to reach home in 15min. justin stayed over coz his mom is already sleeping.
~nda. i want history never to repeat.


ilu

Thursday, December 16, 2004


i was too sleepy just now. didn't really know what i'm seeing. haha. i was like totally blurified. lolx. anyway, today is another boring day. another day being an anti-socialist. muahahaha. who cares man?! that's just me. hmmm. my throat is still hurting like hell. today i almost finished one whole box of mentos. i'm trying to kill myself. =x. mom got me my disney puzzle. it's the last one. haha. princesses~ =). hmmm. just now saw another puzzle but i thought i shouldn't get it coz of the theme. i don't wanna think too much, i don't wanna live in the past. so after admiring for awhile i thought i shouldn't see THAT already. you know it's gonna do me no good if i continue looking at it and end up purchasing it. if it's 2003 now, i guess i'll still buy. but since it's 2004, i'll not. don't ask me why coz the reason is just it. if you don't get it then don't bother. oh yah! disney channel rocks!!! i'm loving it even more as each day pass. muahahaha. i'm a growing disney freak. =))). later i think at 11 got a movie to catch. so i'll go get ready. hehe. i hate having meals at weird timings. however there's nth i can do to stop it. hais. anyway, i think i've grown fatter but my maid says i'm getting thinner instead. wth. i'm sadded. muahahaha. pardon me for my powderful english. LOL! whatever. err. tmr is gonna be another farked up day. hope the time pass faster if not i'll rot. i can't be lalagirl at those hours. sad sad. =(((. gonna take sweets to stuff myself with again. hey! mommy bought my fave milk. =). hip hip hurray!!!
~nda. i'm lalagirl. =D.


ilu

stay away. don't love me. hate me. i'm not the girl anyone would want as a girlfriend. remember me as a bitch if you want. i ain't hurt coz i won't fall so easily anymore. this is a promise i made to myself. don't think about the past coz the memories will make you uneasy. live the present and face the future. the past is no longer gonna be repeated and there's nth that you can undo in the past. don't ever hope time stops coz it's just wishful thinkings. as the truth is that time won't stop. no matter how you wish, time won't ever stop so just move on. the more you experience, the better things you'll end up with in the end. it's the same as the longer you wait, the greater the chances are for you to get it. life is all about this kinda shits. since you are given life, bear with it and live life to it's fullest. there's still a long journey for you. a new girlfriend, more dating moments, instant and planned surprises, wedding, honeymoon, having kids and bringing up your kids. it's gonna take years coz it'll continue.
~nda. best wishes to you.


ilu

if i could i really wish that i lose memory. at least those which saddens me. those parts of life that i felt there wasn't any point i should stay on. i only want those happy memories to remain. i don't want to have any scars of the person who hurt me most. i want my life to be perfect. the most i can do is erase my unhappy memories. i must make sure i get to do what i want. my mind is made up. i'm gonna make myself lose memory. be it i dash across the road and get knocked down by a car or bang my head onto the wall, i'll just do. as long as it's of use. anyway, today i was serious about the bubble tea thing. muahahaha. but i don't need it coz sat somebody gonna buy for me!!! =)))! yay! lol. the person is none other than... WHO SAY I WANNA SAY?! haha. i tell you, i'm a pure chinese alright. lol. people who are close to me should know why. i've got enough of outsiders asking the same question and i'm so sick. zzz. blaaa~ ok. whatever. back to me losing my memory. i was thinking how nice it'll be when i can start life afresh. oh yah. was thinking lorx. where i'll be next year? starting my wonderful and perfect life? hehe. maybe?
~nda. memories shall die.


ilu

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


it's just another moment passed. it's gonna be another boring 8h. yawns. i can't stand it alright but i'll try. grandma talked to me ytd abt my attitude and stuffs. well, i'll try. alright. i'm feeling so sick now. arghhh. but still gotta be strong. this is the stepping stone for me to becoming an independant woman. =). i'm gonna be a girl who have nth else but myself, my family and my friends to worry about. bgr is a no no NO. what for find trouble for myself? stead and get hurt then cry? waste my precious tears on unworthy people? NO WAY! i'll rather tear for those sad scenes on tv or whatever. at least these are not hurting me deep. hmmm. there is one thing i know for sure i must achieve and that's to be heartless. i need to really build up a strong heart. i need to overcome everything. there's so much i gotta learn. i've gotta reach and climb my way up to be independant. i know i'm always relying on others especially my parents. and boyfriend if i'm attached. but now, boyfriends are out of my list. they shall never be in again either. there's lots of things i can do alone without fearing anything. no need to bother about how my bf feels, whether he'll get angry or whatever the hell. this is what i like. i don't wanna be locked up. i want my freedom. that's what life is about.
~nda. i wanna live the way life should be lived.


ilu

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


need nobody to live my life. rather be all alone that to get hurt. i'm gonna pamper and love myself like never before coz there's nobody who can do a better job than me. what for trust and and all the shits again? i was once told. if he really loved you like he claimed to, he'll not be with any other girls and will wait no matter what. well, i think so but not all guys are capable of doing this.
hmmm. i saw your blog. i got your dad's call. i dunno what am i to say. i'm just very sorry. it's my bad. take good care alright. we'll still be good friends. =). do write to me. you know what i like most right? hehe. get well soon.
~nda. rather be alone.


ilu